Mother's Day

Caroline was embarrassing today.
Mother's Day. A day when children are supposed to be extra-nice and extra-appreciative of their mothers. The day started off well, Caroline made my mom a pretend 'dinner' with steak, starbucks, and coconut cream pie, made out of paper. While packing out picnic lunch, she jabbered on and on about getting her 'book' published. This has been her latest obsession: to write and publish her own book, so she can buy an iPad. She is convinced she is a great writer, and has even checked out a book on how to get your book published. Her commitment is great, and I feel bad knowing she could never get her 10 mini-paged book published. Oh well, I guess it's good to have dreams. Anyways, we drove to Maymont, a local park/gardens, and set up our little picnic blanket. It's a beautiful place, and I kept imagining myself here with my boyfriend, walking down the brick paths or sitting by the waterfall. As selfish and terrible as this sounds, I'm somewhat glad my father wasn't here, for he was in Alabama on a business trip. I liked talking with my Mom, throwing the football, and generally hanging out with her in the time usually occupied with the company of my Dad. She told us funny stories about our childhood, ones that we have heard hundreds of times but are still entertaining. We then walked down to the Japanese gardens, where the trouble started. There was a small waterfall surrounded by rocks that were teeming with people clambering all over them. My Mom is petrified of perils such as this, and refused to let my little sisters climb up the rocks with me. Caroline began to have a meltdown, saying unless she could come up with me, she would never leave. A lady gave her a look, obviously disdained and shocked at my sister's rudeness and outright disobedience. We decided to head back to the blanket before Caroline got too upset, but it was too late. She had already gone into her phase. She screamed at us, saying she was having the worst day ever and that she was going to take back the presents she had given our Mom. A lifetime of helpfulness and patience, and she was taking back her gift because my Mom cared about her. A little boy, maybe 5 years old, passed us and piped up to his parents, "That girl is not listening!" Me and my Mom shared an look and a laugh, but really, we were both hurt and embarrassed that people viewed my sister, and my extension, my family as rude and disobedient. Caroline would plant herself on the path while we continued walking, yelling that she would never leave. We figured we would just keep walking and she would change her mind. Luckily, she trudged after us at a distance. We then headed to Sweet Frog with the family of one of Ellie's friends. The mother of Ellie's friend was really nice and funny, and actually seemed to like talking to me. I was surprised that an adult wasn't looking down on me or treating me like a kid, and she talked to me about medical school and my plans for the future. It felt great being treated as an equal, someone who could actually hold an intelligent conversation with an adult. In my household filled with barbies and minecraft, it really does not happen often. Caroline was still being loud and obnoxious, but luckily, it was really crowded, so nobody payed her any attention. At home, there were a few more conflicts, mostly Caroline shrieking about the "Bread Beasts" while Ellie tried to talk to my Dad on the phone. Overall, it was a pretty good day, though it still makes me cringe to recall the looks of people around us while Caroline had another fit.

Friday Fights

Caroline was out of control today.
I was left in charge for a few hours while my Mom was in Charlottesville, and one of my jobs was to heat up some lasagna for dinner. Caroline refused to eat any, saying she hated it. I would not let her have peanut butter and jelly, we have a rule about eating whatever is set out for us. But I decided not to argue with her, so  I  let her go play computer instead. When my mom got home, she was mad that my sister hadn't eaten. She tried to force her to eat, but Caroline only screamed and flung herself on the floor. It only escalated when my mom tried to ask her about her day. I was watching a tv show with my little sister ellie, so  I  couldnt see what exactly took place, but  I could hear the chaos. Back and forth, back and forth. When caroline screamed at my mom and threw a fork at her, my mom lost it. She got so angry that she threw down a plate, shattering it into a million shards. She yelled at caroline, telling her to keep out of her sight and to stay in her room. Caroline tore up the stairs, slammed her door, and said that nobody in this family loved her, and that my mom never did anything nice for her. My mom pounded up the stairs after her, and I couldn't hear exactly what happened, but the sounds of a loud slapping and the crying ensuing were unmistakable. I had no idea what to do, so  I went into the piano room and began to practice. Tt was my solace, the only thing I  could turn to when I was lost. but I couldnt even finish, halfway through, I broke down, tears streaming silently down my face. Why did caroline have to make life so hard for us, why couldn't she realize how many problems she causes, and how ungrateful she is? Every screamed insult aimed at my family and how we "hated her" felt like one of the shards of plate, jabbing into my heart. But I finished my piano and wiped away the tears, burying my face into my dog's fur. Caroline is calm now, but my mom has already called the doctor, and I'm pretty sure her medicine will have to be increased....again. I don't know how long our family can keep it together. The situation has progressed for the worse so much in the past few months...from just frustration and yelling to hitting and breaking plates....